(A 4-PART SERIES)
I went into my Shamanic Energy Medicine trip to Chile with the question:
Why is it so important for me to feel understood?
It took 30 days, a trip around the Medicine Wheel, which felt a bit like being in a washing machine, and a lot of healing to come up with a semblance of an answer.
I had to let go of “who I thought I was” -- all my roles and responsibilities, daughter, sister, mother, wife, swimmer, athlete, business owner, healer, etc.
Everything that I identified with that was holding me back from allowing me to see who I really am.
At first, it felt disconcerting to not know who I am, but now it feels FREEing. I get to make up the “rules.” I get to be a Wild Child who is not constrained by labels and by how “society” dictates I need to be and do things. I can change who I want to be at a moment’s notice.
I want to be loud, take up space, and do what I want to do when I want to do it. Not something I am used to doing.
I want to explore and travel.
I also want to be quiet, connected, and really close to the Earth and experience in all its forms - the serine and beautiful AND the severe and hostile.
And looking at things from the "eyes of a child," not feeling the confinement of needing to BE any particular way, not needing to know who I am -- yet also knowing that I carry, 49 years of wisdom within me and connection to the infinite wisdom of the ancestors and Source -- makes me feel like I am ENOUGH.
And from that space, my answer to my question, "Why do I feel it is important to be understood?"
Ultimately it is not.
For me, underneath it all, it had to do with the feeling of safety, that I needed people to understand me, so I had a "place" in the world.
Through the work of the Medicine Wheel, I was able to let go of enough, heal enough, and feel and know at MY CORE what it means to listen to "myself" and love myself -- to keep myself SAFE by not judging myself and finding the "peace" within myself vs looking externally.
As I do that, I don't even need to understand myself to be OK.
I also came back knowing it's a journey...continuously discovering deeper and deeper layers of knowing as I walk towards the idea that:
"As I am Enough, I will have ALL I need."
So right now, I am doing the best I can to listen and honor my Wild Child in any way I can. What that looks like on a day-to-day basis I do not know, but I know it won’t be boring! 🤣
WHAT DID IT TAKE TO GET THIS POINT?
There is no way I could recount the sheer power of it all, but in my best efforts to sum up my trip, I am reflecting and recording my most significant takeaways.
If you want a peek inside my experience of the Wheel in my depth…I’ve recounted my “insights” traveling through each Direction (section).
So far only with:
North and East soon to come. ☺️
******
Where are you on your journey?
If you are brave enough to share, I would love to hear...please leave a comment below.
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